I am here to blog as I write a book. The book is about my life. As I am dealing with trauma and remembering things I had burried so deep I find myself frustrated and needing to write out side of my book.
You see the book is to help with some mental illness I have been dealing with for years. I thought it was a flaw in me, but that’s a lie from the devil. It has often been said to leave the past behind you, but God has placed it on my heart to share my story.
I say that so boldly but daily have to remind myself I am worth a voice, and I deserve to speak the truth. So many years ago life was different and I knew that what ever lie was spoken over me might as well be true because that was how people are. But that is another lie. I was raised that I quit being worth fighting for after I took the blame for ruining our relationship with our family.
These memories are hard sometimes. But what I recognize is that God was with me through every scary or sad situation I went through. And even if my parents failed me in some areas, ultimately they taught me about God. And He has been my life line since I was born.
For a long time I though I wasn’t saved because of some mental illness problems I have had to deal with. I thought when we got saved we were healed or life just went “good”. But that is not my story.
I remember thinking one time that some people “run a race” in life. I look back and I feel like I was wearing roller skates on a frozen pond. It was as if I was going from one bad situation to another. And it has until now been someone else’s story. I was raised believing that reasons were excuses and I should keep mine to myself. So I did. But now its time to step up and tell the truth.
I am learning how to do that and facing fear that someone will find out. I fear that I will be shamed or called a liar. John 8:32, and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.